Sloan Provides Civility Lesson as He Resigns

I'm not coming to a conclusion as to what speculation and what gossip belongs in public discourse.

But, the past day, I thought a bunch on it, thanks to coach Jerry Sloan's resigning from the Utah Jazz.

There was all kinds of speculation and innuendo surrounding his stepping aside. I entered the discussion with a relish, and not much restraint.

But, supposing Jerry did what he did because someone frustrated him, I do see an example of civility in how he reacted. Twice he was asked a question, and twice, rather than answering the question directly, he redirected his answer another direction.

Call it evading the question, if you will. He gave his own reasons for resigning and left it at that. He didn't give a "yes" or "no" on the reason fed to him. There are times when answering a question "yes" or "no" should be done. But, other times, a person should be allowed to choose his or her own words for what he or she wants to convey, wants to reveal. Requiring a "yes" or "no" can be a mild form of placing words in another person's mouth.

I repeat, there are times when a "yes" or "no" is expected. I just judge the Sloan press conference not to be one of them.

Had Sloan answered "yes," it would have cast a negative image on another person. It certainly is civil to restrain from casting another person in a negative light. I don't know Coach Sloan's reason for not answering "yes" or "no," but I can see it might have protected someone.

So, among the things I learned from this, is that it is not always uncivil to avoid answering with a "yes" or "no." And, it follows that there might be times it is uncivil to require a "yes" or "no."

I learned civility can be resisting endorsing the wording given by another person.  A person might say, "Don't you think . . ." and rather than agreeing, the better answer sometimes is, "Well, what I think, is . . ." and then giving an appraisal that falls outside of "Yes, I agree" or "No, I don't think so."