Excedrin and Guns to the Rescue

   Let me give you a bottle of Excedrin. It has been proven to stop migraines. I will ask that you take three pills every four hours, but if you want to take more, I'm cool with that. Whatever, as long as you take these pills every day -- and many times during every day -- because I don't ever want you to have a headache again.

   Oh, you might think that is overkill. You might think you can hold off taking the Excedrin every day, and just take it when you need it.
   But, I'm here to tell you, it's like a gun. You don't just need it when you need it. You need it all the day. Everyone should own a gun, because every home could be subject to a burglary, and I'm not just talking a simple home break-in. I'm talking somebody packing heat coming at you to take away your property, your health, or maybe even your life. I don't ever want that to happen to you.
   And, everyone should take a gun with them everywhere they go, because you just never know when you are going to need it. You don't know when you are going to be attacked and you don't know where. You just have to be prepared. 
   Now, headaches happen more often than armed assaults, so I'm thinking you should be more worried about them. Never, ever leave home without your Excedrin. You might be worried about taking too much, or about side effects, or about them no longer being effective if you take them too often, but don't do that. Don't worry about those things, because the bottom line is, headaches hurt and you'll get one if you are not thoroughly vigilant.
   It's like that gun. People could worry about having too many guns. They might say that if we have too many guns lying around, someone is bound to steal a few, maybe even 600,000 a year. They might try to trick you by pointing to the high percentage of crimes committed with stolen weapons. I'm saying, don't listen to that, because if a criminal ever comes calling and you have a gun, you'll be ready for him.
   Excedrin and guns are the same. If you go without them, sooner or later you are going to have a big, big headache. And, believe me, being robbed at gunpoint is a big headache. Yes, Excedrin and guns are the same. You cannot have too much of either one of them. I'm here to tell you: when your safety is involved, you don't overdoes, and you don't over do, you just be prepared.
   What? You think our nation has overdosed on guns?