Death can be a Decision, and Sometimes a Programmed One

   "I'm a nurse. I don't believe in torturing people," a friend said to me as we were visiting a lady who appeared to be in her final moments of life. 

   I might have learned something from my experience at the care center today: Sometimes we might want to die, but our bodies are programmed against it. 

   Yeah, it might take a little explanation for you to understand this one. 

   Okay, I believe the will to live is real. I believe, death can be a decision. Obviously, what shape you are in medically is the large factor. But, still choice sometimes exists. I think of the video posted on Facebook this week, of a soldier who threw himself on top of a grenade to save his fellow soldiers. He lived. Obviously, taking a grenade could have killed him. He could have said, Too much pain; I'm out. 

  Now, I'm an old man. My need to urinate can be more urgent. There are times that when I must go, I must go. But, this is interesting: I go through all of church and finish with a feeling that I am fine and not at all in need of going. But, the instant I get home, the urge hits and I must get to the bathroom post-haste. Now, the thing is, somewhat in the last couple months, I have curbed the need. I have been able to hold off better. Here's what I find: If I can convince myself just one time that I do not need to go, then the very next time, I am more likely to be able to make the same decision.

  Now, I like to study the thinking patterns of humankind, and this follows what I have learned. I have observed that once we make a decision, the decision sticks. If we decide we don't like someone, our mind isn't easily changed. If we decide the undocumented immigrants need to be deported, we will be hard-pressed to have our mind changed.

  Back to the lady in the rehabilitation center. She's 101 (come a couple weeks). She's not new to being at death's door. I'm guessing her body has been close enough to death at other times. Perhaps somewhere back there, her body had its first experience of being in the death mode, and the decision was made to hang on. Now, that decision is programmed in her body. Most people come up to the stage of death and it is the first time, so there is no programming in their bodies on the matter, and if they decide to let go of life, they let go. This lady, though, might not be in that mode. She might be left stuck on the decisions of the past. She might want to die, but can't seem to let go because the impulses in her system are set to the contrary. Now, if the pneumonia she has contracted is not treated, she might die, anyway. Perhaps (probably) the deterioration of our bodies eventually extracts its toll regardless the mental programming against it.