The Skinny on Skinny Joe

   It didn't last long. Joe drank his last cup of joe, then got up and left through the door on the left. I looked at my watch to see if the night watch was due to come in. Beings he wasn't (he was still at home talking to other human beings), I rose from my chair, a rose in my hand. I gave it to the girl at the next table who was very fair -- someone I'd met at the fair, it's fair to say. Then I went after Joe after he left. I had a case against him in case he didn't come back and pay Bill the bill. I also knew he hadn't paid the tip -- hadn't left it on the tip of the counter -- because both I and the counter of the money witnessed him tip over and fall from his chair, get back up, tip his hat, then tip toe out the door.

  Well, he did return, saying he wanted a return on his money, and saying he was going to tear the place up without a tear in his eye. He strolled over to the band stand, and I could tell the singer was willing to stand up to him. The singer was wearing a band around his head and told his band mates the concert was over and they better band together in concert and knock Joe over or there would be a knock on the band, because everyone would know they didn't cast him out, nor hit him with a cast iron skillet. So the lead singer, who had been singing his biggest hit, hit Joe on the head with the skillet, then dropped it on his toe, and told him he better toe the line. That's when the police came in to see if everything was fine. They told Joe he would have to pay a fine. Joe tried to raise back up as he promised the police he would raise the money. Joe then fell back down and asked for a down pillow. I told him, "Things go way better when you do things the right way."

  The girl then came up and tried to be kind to him, and I was kind of like, do you like him? She said she did and said when he had left, she had tried to get up and run after him, but had a run in her stockings. I told her that when he was leaving, he had put on a mink stole and tried to toss a bag of money he had stole over his shoulder. "Bag it, bag it, bag it," he said, saying he just wanted to find a way to get away. He said he didn't mean to be mean. I said, "Don't lie there and lie. Rest there on the floor if you will, but rest assured I'm not going to believe the rest of what you say." The police then told him to find his own way out if he wasn't going to own up to taking money he didn't own.

  So, skinny Joe left, and that's the end of this skinny.

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