A How-to Book for Americans

How To Be An American
A book we ought to write
There must be some instructions
On how to do it right

How to vote and who to vote for
How to get across the border and who to get across
We need to know the rules for all these thing
And we need to know the price and cost

Should you go to jail for being a Republican
Or is that just for Democrats
What's the difference between the Deep State
And a bureaucrat

There's just so much we need to know
There ought to be a book
Or maybe a course in college
Like the one your father took

Back then they taught you all the rudiments
Of civics and history, too
They taught you how to be an American
Things you never knew

But now things have changed
Each party calls the other out
Each would send the other to prison
Prescribing a precise and exact route

I think we really need a book
Something to tell us how
How to persecute the Republicans
And how to make Democrats dip and bow