To Heal an Aging Body

   I wonder, still. I wonder if my body can heal with the flip of a switch, a mental switch, a touch of faith. I wonder if it is not my body that needs to change, but my mind, if I am to be healed. I wonder if my mind is healed, then my body will be, also.
  If I can but relax.
  I had a TIA a few months back. That's a mini stroke. More than once since then, including yesterday, it seemed the pressures of the day built up big enough that I could feel another about to burst upon me. But, by simple will of mind, as I felt it coming on, I put it off.
  By simple decision.
  I sat in my chair yesterday, in pain. It so seemed that if I let my mind go there, the pain was excruciating. I could flow into pain with a simple decision to let myself go into it.
   I pulled back, mentally, and the pain leveled off, or so it seemed.
   I rolled out of bed this morning, onto my feet, and it so seemed that I almost could relax, and my body would be healed. It so seemed that my body was close to being relaxed, and instead of a stumble and a limp, there would be a perfect step, a perfect walk, a healed man.
   Oh, that I could give my body that command, to relax and be whole.
   Thus it is, could faith heal me?
   It occurs to me that I have had heart problems about as long as I have had stiffness, and tightness, and hip problems. If I relax the body, does it affect all the body? When the muscles tighten, do they tighten on the heart as well as in the legs?
   I think of how old men such as I need to stay closer to the bathroom. I think of how I can be fine as far as needing to use the bathroom, but the moment I open the front door, the urge to urinate becomes uncontrollable. My mind is trained to go that way.
  So it is with the rest of my body. There are mental commands, subconscious ones. They control me and my health. As they take over one part of my body, making it harder to control urination, they also take over the rest of my body, so that I cannot walk.
   You will say I need a pacemaker for my heart. I will say I wonder if I need but to relax. You will say that I need my hip replaced, for it is bone on bone, and no mental process is going to cure that. I will say, you might be right, but I that I wonder the same. I wonder if I could but mentally say, relax, if I could walk a normal walk, if I could heal.
   These are things I wonder. I do not say I am right, only that I wonder.  I am fully aware that often we take our hopes and make them gospel, when in fact they are but delusions.
   So, which is it? Are my hopes the seeds of faith? Or are they the offspring of delusion?

(Note: Slightly edited and tweaked 11/15/18)